City/State:  Marietta, Georgia

Brain Injury:  Car Accident  6/3/2013. I was driving cross-country moving from San Diego to Atlanta and the accident happened in the middle of the desert of El Paso, Texas. My car flipped 3-4 times and crossed over the median divide, and then across two lanes of the highway going the opposite way. Luckily no one else was involved or hurt. I had my two dogs in the car with me. One of them was thrown from the car and took off running into the desert. I never found him. My head hit the driver side window, causing an open wound in my scalp. My left arm was dislocated, a bone broken in the elbow area, and severe “road rash” from the forearm area to the top of my bicep area. Also had multiple wounds on my arm from ground debris and glass. I fractured my C4 vertebrae in my neck, had a small face fracture in my right cheekbone, and a small left rib fracture. I don’t remember much from the accident except the car losing control, chatting with the Paramedic as though we were having a casual conversation, and seeing one of my dogs in his cage. I also remember a strange woman speaking a language I could not understand, which to this day, I truly believe was a Guardian Angel there with me at the scene of the accident. My parents were driving along the route in a different vehicle ahead of me, so we weren’t in view of each other when the accident happened. For some reason, they decided to turn around because they didn’t see me behind them and actually drove up the opposite side of the highway discovering the remnants of my car with the police still there to let them know what happened. My Fiancé (now Husband) was two days behind me still in San Diego, finishing up things to make his move out to Atlanta too. He got a call from the Paramedic who was with me in the ER, and he immediately dropped everything, had family members finish up his moving needs, and started his nonstop drive to the hospital in El Paso.

Explanation of mask:  The Bible at the center of my forehead represents God being a big part of my ongoing recovery process, the presence of Him, along with the Guardian Angel that protected me during the accident. In my opinion, there is no earthly explanation that a person would have been able to survive what happened in my accident. The date shown at the top of the mask is when my TBI happened, with El Paso noted too. On the left side of my skull is where the majority of the TBI external injury happened, and it is represented by the medical items, with red for the bleeding from my scalp, and glitter is for the pieces of embedded glass that are still coming out, almost 4 years later. The dollar symbol is for the medical bills and no resources available for financial assistance. I was a single without insurance. The pill capsules represent the pain medications that were so easily prescribed to me. I hated how they made me feel – mentally zoned out, high, and spacey. “Oscar” is for my dog that I lost in the accident. The blank white background with my name in plain letters on the side represents the former independent, intensely goal-driven “Me”. The Me that “died at 35” in the accident, and the clueless feeling of figuring out this new Me that appeared after my TBI. The blue tears under the left eye represent the episodes of guilt, grief, sadness, anger and frustration. Around the mouth are food items, because I learned that what I ate had a significant impact on my brain health/TBI symptoms flaring up. I also found a new “job” in cooking for my Husband and me, as a fulltime Housewife. I tried but was unable to work a traditional job with the symptoms/challenges of my TBI. The grey mouth represents the difficulty in translating mental thoughts into words, and the jumbled letters/numbers are how it feels trying to think of the correct words to communicate verbally. The blue color near the neck is for the neck brace I wore for 10 weeks, the feeling of suffocating that it gave me and the panic that woke me up most nights. On the other side of the mask are symbols of my glittery, dream-like, Las Vegas wedding in November 2014; a huge milestone in my life. “Atlanta” is there because that is my home. San Diego represents where I met and was engaged to my husband. The wine glass is for the old me that enjoyed a nice glass of wine. After my TBI, I cannot drink because it flares up the symptoms and sets me back in my recovery. I am 100% medication free and try my best to use food, nutrition, holistic and natural approaches to maintain a healthy brain and body. Since my TBI, family members struggle to understand the effects of my TBI, pretend like nothing major has happened, make me feel judged, rejected, excluded, and tried to convince me that I am crazy. My husband’s name, Ryan, is near the top of the mask. He is the only person in my life to truly stick by my side during my ongoing recovery process, TBI challenges, and my moments of exhaustion, sadness, rage, and aggressive outbursts. When I think back on everything that happened since my accident, Ryan is the only person who has consistently been there for me, while others were quick to give up.