Name: Deb

City: Underhill

Brain Injury: mTBI June 2012.  Turning left into my work parking lot, I was rear-ended by a distracted 17 yr. old driver.  My first recall… I heard someone screaming!!  I responded to assist.  The screaming stopped… I looked around… how did I get up here on the other side of the road?  What happened?  I looked in the rear-view mirror, huh?  A lot of people down there?  Felt like a long time before someone came up here!!  Then the Emergency room, morphine injection for pain, x-rays/back, cat scan/head.  Fine, is your ride here yet?  Home alone, confused, scared, pain, my kids called to check on me, don’t worry I said, I’ll be fine!  Little did I know what was ahead for these next 4 years of my life.

Explanation of Mask:  “It’s All in Your Head”  You look fine!  I was given the go ahead to go back to work 1 week following my accident which was great with me!  After all I had TBI clients that needed Case Management, new staff to be trained to be TBI Life Skills Aides, families who counted on me.  I loved my work!  For the next 3 months no one at work saw me for any length of time to know anything was wrong, they only saw the signs of pain.  I laughed it off when I needed help to use the Xerox machine, and again when I could not collate material.  I went from appointment to appointment and rescheduled folks to fit in the Chiropractor and Physical Therapist.  I was able to brush off the signs and mistakes being made because I did not even know what was wrong!  I thought my issues; light sensitivity, trouble reading my computer screen, forgetting things, not writing a team meeting agenda, impatience, was due to the neck and head pain and sleep deprivation.  “Depression” set in with Denial and Embarrassment.  After all… I of all people could not have this happen!  Not me!?  Ironic?  “Overwhelming- not just for you, but also for your family and friends.”  Just remember they hurt when you hurt, they hurt worse when you don’t let them in!  Workers’ Comp was not yet on-board.  Kim, my OT said that I should no longer drive and needed to go to Driver Rehab.  OMG!  She also said that I must have assistance for Activities of Daily Living.  NO WAY!  I was truly blessed that my sister had just retired, she drove 85mi. round trip 5 days a week and she never once complained.  Then came Speech, Vision Therapy, and “The Black Netting” is my curtains drawn, sensitivity to light was worse with the extreme head pain.  Right side of my head from base of my skull felt like steel rod shooting lightening bolt pain up my head.  Right eye always blood shot.  “Suffering in Silence.”  “Person Under Netting” was me holding onto my head gently rocking, crying, and praying.  “Talk about a roller-coaster ride of emotions.”  Sensory overload, change is most difficult.  I need a scheduled routine, sorry, I work at a much slower speed now.  Multi-task?  Let me finish this thought first!  Aggravation, frustration from loosing things; like time, short-term memory, insight, decision making, tracking conversations, and loosing material things like bills & paperwork.  NOW THE POSITIVE SIDE OF LIFE!!!!!  See the Yellow light bulb?  Good, I’m glad you spotted it so quickly!!!  It took me a long time to see that light!!!  I made it through though, that was a difficult stage of recovery for me; the sign of acceptance, knowing that I am still left with residual deficits “Is not an end but only a beginning.”  Time to rebuild a new life for myself, tie to love again.  That just happened!!!  God blessed me with a wonderful man, and I married him!!!  “I want to build connections, spread awareness, help others, and fight this!!!”