City: Lawrenceville

Brain Injury: Sports Concussion that resulted in permanent scarring on the right frontal lobe of my brain that left me with a visual and seizure disorder I will manage for the rest of my life.

Explanation of Mask: The gray color of my mask represents the color of my brain. The gray matter that powers my whole body, my whole being. The gray matter that was altered and left permanently scarred from my concussion. The gray matter that has had to reroute, relearn, and redefine who I am.

The purple lenses on my mask represent the purple tinted glasses I now wear to help my brain properly filter light. The glasses help my brain to see more clearly and vividly. Like manually focusing a picture when the autofocus won’t seem to work. The tint makes reading and comprehending doable again. It gives me security in my abilities.

The quote encircling my mask are words of hope strung together. Words I cling to about my fight with fear. Words that beautifully shatter a once condemning, pitiful grip on my life.

You could say my brain injury was somewhat of a matchmaker for me and fear. It was my worst enemy and yet, at times, my best friend. Always there, encroaching into every hall of my brain. It spoke words of sorrow, regret and doubt to me about not remembering, not being able to do things that I was once capable of, losing my way of life, losing friends. Fear walked with me as I faced the reality that I was no longer the Rachel I once was and had to redefine who I would be.

I wear this quote on a bracelet every day. It is a physical reminder that fear is foolish. Yes, foolish. Fear is only capable of controlling me if I allow it. And why would I do that?

For those battling with fear, I share my words of hope with you.

“At a certain point, feeling afraid is a bad habit from when you thought being afraid would somehow help. Here’s the thing you should know: it doesn’t. Feel free to stop any time.”

Please know, it is not “just a concussion.” It’s a brain injury. And It can be life-changing.